Missing Out (feat. Gritt)

Had to take a look back on it, knowing I had missed it
Chance to make a change, I came close enough to kiss it
Reminiscing, if it would ever make a difference
Had I took the time to grow
I guess I'll never know

Another lesson in the books, another straw for the camel
Bear the weight of it all but never focused on the ammo
I needed to use
Opportunities to seize the moment
I just couldn't choose
It's like I decided to lose
And I can't turn back time upon itself and see new outcomes
And it's got me askin' how come
In the middle of it like I'm Malcolm
Like the eye of the storm
Word to Benny I've been on my Zeitoun
Makin' breakthroughs
When in grave danger I make great moves
You can stay still or you can stay tuned
I'm the one that'll fuck up and fuck up again
I keep it going until I reach the end of the ink in my pen
Seems that I did it again
I wish that I had it back in my grasp
It faded at speeds that I couldn't catch
Compound stresses have me all out of whack
Had to get dialed in before I crash
And burn, and tumble and turn
My stomach was churning I was a wreck
The passion was burning and my soul was yearning
To put in the effort until I'm the best
I've missed a million routes, but still could find a destination in truth
Took me longer to get strong enough to lift myself up out the pit and back in the booth
You can go and check the proof

I kept strolling
When all my doors were pushing open
Busy smoking, drinking, joking yeah
Just slowly rolling
Been out here always hoping
That I'd be moving faster
After the juxtaposition
Ain't no luck, just wishing, fishing
Never no nibble, no never no bite
No sleep, mind open too wide
My eyes never latch
Wanna crash but I can't
Cause I never relax
Only relapse, go to rehab, gonna creep back
Believe me I do see, but don't need your feedback
Man
All shade
Had future so bright, but time fades
Handsome young fellow with the pale blue eyes
Went dancing with the devil pale moonlight
Sunk to a level that I do despise
Done with the revel so I do rise
But I really only wanna be closer to God
Little phony when you only gonna see the mirage
Turn the car on and shut the garage
Gonna wake like Folgers when you see the facade
A man grows old, memories collage
Lotta holes in the wall that I'm hanging them on
Ma told me that I got to be strong
But she's got to be wrong
When weak mind's carrying on
I am my own enemy
Thoughts collide and I decide my life
Hope God defending me
A doctor-patient less
On the waiting list
Walk the halls, but I'm lost in maintenance

Had to take a look back on it
Knowing you had missed it
Chance to make a change you came close enough to kiss it
Reminiscing if it would ever make a difference
Had you took the time to grow
I guess you'll never know

Little petty things that you think might spite me
I don't have to stoop to your level and politely
Gettin' in the head of the GOAT's unlikely
You could just admit that you like me
You could just admit that you're lost seeking closure
Black hole of joy, slowing my exposure
Had to come in with the dozer
Came in with the so long, don't know ya
Wanna be mad all good, I'm golden
Stand on the words I've spoken
Stand on the path I've chosen
Can feel your tension with a growing distance
You could see it in your vision, couldn't comprehend the difference
If you miss your shot, at least you shot it
Sooner or later it get's shot regardless
Aim with your heart, you hittin' your targets
Actions be speaking the largest
Now what happened, seemed so drastic
Hope for change without workin, that's magic
Wanna have your cake and eat it too
Spit venom when your plans ain't seen through
Can't be mad cause I peeped it and made moves
Now look what this came to

Had to take a look back on it
Knowing you had missed it
Chance to make a change you came close enough to kiss it
Reminiscing if it would ever make a difference
Had you took the time to grow
I guess you'll never know