Of Lightness and Nicotine

I tasted the tender
Though it's not the kind of savour I'd looked to
What I'd had in mind, so soon
After I'd met you
Thought I would get to
Exist in the in between
Of lightness and nicotine

Grieving the starry eyed lover that I got to be
The beau of no woes he drew out of me
And the beauty that he lost his heart
Years ago, I believe
Some place in that in between
Of lightness and nicotine

Hey

I liked existing in that little corner
Knowing that it wasn't real but not quite there to say so
Feeling light for just a minute
Before realising that with letting go of one
Comes the fear - and the desire -
That everyone holds somewhere of never finding another
Will it only get harder
Will there be a pocket for me
A pocket past
Disbelieving
Underachieving
Milling and
Working to the hum of a better tune
Fight the urge to remember
Unbearable listening
Star crossed

And breathing in
All of the welding, shielding guarding

Breathing in all of the welding, shielding guarding

Welding, shielding, guarding
Welding, shielding, guarding