Scared

Every morning when I woke up
Every night I tried to cry myself to sleep
Screaming that I'm sorry
When every effort makes the cut more deep

Now I sit in waiting
Trying to take these baby steps
Still fearful that you hate me
But I try to put the blame to rest

I tried so hard to tell myself
That nothing was your fault

I said I'm scared
That I'll hurt you like your mother
And you'll leave me like a father skipping town
And you dared
To say, "my love I trust you"
Even when I knew I couldn't trust myself
But I was right
I was right
And I drew blood
And every night
I would write
My sorry excuses
Hoping that you would say it's alright

Now every time you text me
And I say that I might be scared to death
You tell me that there's no need
But I never know what could be next

When every time I open my mouth
My words get ahead of me

I said I'm scared
That I'll hurt you like your mother
And you'll leave me like a father skipping town
And you dared
To say, "my love I trust you"
Even when I knew I couldn't trust myself
But I was right
I was right
And I drew blood
And every night
I would write
My sorry excuses
Hoping that you would say it's alright

Am I just another of your big mistakes?
Am I just a promise I begged you to break?
If that's how you know me
I don't want you to know me
I wish you would say you hate me for what I've done

I said I'm scared
That I'll hurt you like your mother
And you'll leave me like a father skipping town
And you dared
To say, "my love I trust you"
Even when I knew I couldn't trust myself
But I was right
I was right
And I drew blood
And every night
I would write
My sorry excuses
Hoping that you would say it's alright