Ode to Myself

It's not easy being so far away
That I can't even hear what you say
And I know it shouldn't matter
But I can't help what I do
And neither can you

I'm tired of doing too much
And never being enough
To say how I feel
And if it's real
And if these words you say
Mean anything at all

These words are ink on a page
Together like clouds and rain
That doesn't go away
Until you're drowning
And can't swim
From the weight

I'm tired of doing too much
And never being enough
To say how I feel
And if it's real
And if these words you say
Mean anything at all

I wish I'd write a different song
I wish I wasn't always alone
I wish I'd leave it all behind
And face you
Before these thoughts subside
And as I walk away
Do you wish I stayed
Stayed alone, with you
And just said the truth
You're everything to me
And I need you to know
If it was you and me
I'd never be alone

I'm tired of doing too much
And never being enough
To say how I feel
And if it's real
But I know these words you say
Don't mean anything at all
And I don't care anymore
I'll live my life, you'll live yours
And, even though, you mean
So much to me
I'd rather see you be happy