Rosewater

Rise up inside me
My eldest friend, purveyor of my truth
Sure in my ear
I can say no to anyone but you
With your hand wrapped around
The tender trunk of my throat
And a grip like a god
Only one way this will go

Plied into piety
My bones have long been broken by the fact
Of only a glance
Its pull-away, reminder of what I lack
Pointing at passerby
People eager to flout
You know what I deserve
And you're quick to pay out

All the dreams I've had
Watched each torn asunder
Yes, my greatest error
In my cowardice, you prospered
Grew to be my greatest peer

You're the enemy I can't pin down
You're the drainpipe getting stuck
You're the voice nudging me toward the flood
You're the flood, you're the nudge
You're the voice, you're getting louder
You're the child who never calls
You're everywhere I turn and yet
You're not anywhere at all
You're the vulture circling round and round
You're the timer ticking down
Say you're happy with some loss and yet
You won't take any amount
You're rotten down to the core
You're the thinnest skin to shed
You're the monster looming in the hall
And the one beneath the bed
You're the poison in the marrow
You're the body's bitter pith
Yet most unconscionable of all
Is your insistence to live

In this dearth of love
System shrunk and weakened
Framework of myself
That I'll never relinquish
Grown to be my greatest fear