Your Money Ain't Real

When I was about twelve years old
Me and my family
Went to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing
At the U.S. Treasury
We bought a sheet of two dollar bills
And my dad said sarcasitcally
"Make sure you keep these bills safe, Bill
Someday they may be worth some money."
But I don't intend to spend them
And they wouldn't buy a decent meal
Besides the few dollars in my wallet
It's all the money I've got that real

(It Ain't Real)

Economics is the dismal science
Too many variables to comprehend
Formulae they say someday may
Pay future dividends
But stocks and bonds and IRAs
You gotta sell to spend
An invisible state until you liquidate
But then capital gains kicks in
Numbers on financial statements
Too intangible to fee
Dollars and cents or just nonsense
We pretend are real

(It Ain't Real)

Some folks earn wealth all by themselves
Some through inheritance, chance or luck
Others they burn hours of overtime
Just for a couple extra bucks
It's a cloudcuckooland of digital demand
So why you buying virtual stuff
Like NFTs, cryptocurrencies
It's make believe, so they can't make enough
Me and Warren Buffett, though
Y'know we don't see the appeal
What's the point with Bitcoin
You know by definition, it ain't real

(It Ain't Real)

All currencies are illusory
As any economist will tell you
Relies on utility, scarcity, and
A belief in a perceived value
Smith's invisible hand extends his finger
But I wonder when will you
Quit buying all this nonsense
That society wants to sell you
We're animals here on Orwell's farm
Where Napoleon squeals ideals
Whether you sleep in the house or in the barn
Your money, it still ain't real

(It Ain't Real)

Liabilities, more fantasies
More imaginary constructs
Spending years, in arrears
Just to keep that FICO score up
Taking stuff from stores on promise
Well it sorta seems corrupt
But it's Keynes's dream, a modern meme
Worst case you just go bankrupt
Net effect's the same, but your don't have to steal
Debts, deficits, just a shell game
'Cause your credit, it ain't real

(It Ain't Real)

You may say "OK, wait, we gotta facilitiate
We need a medium of exchange..."
The alternative, it's given
Would be awful strange
Listen the system, it ain't great
But can you imagine trying to arrange
A barter of chickens for a car
How the hell would you make change
Everyday would be a match of
Let's make a deal
But until those fictional chickens hatch
Like your money, they ain't real

(It Ain't Real)

You know arbitrage, it is the cause
Of famine and starvation
While assets they waste away
Through depreciation and inflaction
Bullion, fiat, they all seem to be me but
Gaudy decorations
Not legal tender that you can spend
Unless you're a country or a corporation
The solution, it ain't that hard
It's waiting to be revealed
If you can't use it in this bar
Then your money, it ain't real

(It Ain't Real)