That’s Bad, Right?

I finally saw a therapist
And she started to cry
And so I realized
It was really bad
I'd be allowed to feel sad

But it's easier to look away
Or is it?
Have I just been drowning in my pain?
Froze it - somewhere
Cause my wounds made me feel ashamed

So instead I'd rather run again
I run away
Keep myself busy
Numb my brain

Feeling dizzy
Drunk again
To make it easy
But it's not working, is it?

I was never able to sleep
That's bad right?

Didn't have enough to eat
That's bad right?

Wasn't allowed to speak

I tried to run away
That's bad right?

Got caught and hurt again
That's bad right?

But now am I okay?
I stay in my fight
But it's a constant fight

She has that Aura
Seems so innocent
You know
I always felt sorry for her - sorry for her

She should have protected me
It's hard to comprehend
You know
How could she leave me in the dirt - in the dirt?

And I know I should be mad
But all I see is a little girl
But it's not me - she is her

And while I am strong enough to heal myself
She's a prisoner of her self-made hell

I was never able to sleep
That's bad right?

Didn't have enough to eat
That's bad right?

Wasn't allowed to speak

I tried to run away
That's bad right?

Got caught and hurt again
That's bad right?

But now am I okay?
I stay in my fight
But it's a constant fight

I tried to save you
I tried to be enough
I tried to make you love your child
But I had to be the adult

I didn't have a bed
No love
No peace

I got hatred instead
Still loved you
Begged you please

Leave him
Safe me
Safe us
At least safe yourself

But you wouldn't listen
You wouldn't listen
You didn't listen
So we both stayed in hell

I was never able to sleep
That's bad right?

Didn't have enough to eat
That's bad right?

Wasn't allowed to speak

I tried to run away
That's bad right?

Got caught and hurt again
(That's bad right?)

But now am I okay?
Well, I stay in my fight
But it's a constant fight

And I make it right!
I make it right!
I make it right!

And I'm healing over time