Poor Unfortunate Souls

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch.
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways.
Repented, seen the light and made a switch.
True? Yes.

And I fortunately know a little magic.
It's a talent that I always have posessed.
And here lately, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf
of the miserable, lonely and depressed.
Pathetic.

Poor unfortunate souls.
In pain. In need.
This one longing to be thinner,
that one wants to get the girl,
and do I help them?
Yes indeed.

Those poor unfortunate souls.
So sad. So true.
They come flocking to my cauldron crying
"Spells Ursula, please",
and I help them. Yes I do.

Now it's happened once or twice
someone couldn't pay the price,
and I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals.
Yes I've had the odd complaint
but on the whole I've been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls.

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber.
They think a girl that gossips is a bore.
Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
and after all dear what is idle prattle for?
Come on!

They're not all that impressed with coversation.
True gentlemen avoid it when they can.
But they don't and swoon and fawn
on a lady who's withdrawn.
It's she who haunts a town who gets a man.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul!
Go ahead!
Make your choice.
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day.
It won't cost much.
Just your voice.

You poor unfortunate soul.
It's sad but true.
If you wanna cross a bridge my sweet you gotta pay the toll.
Take a gulp and take a breath.
Go ahead and sign the scroll.
Flotsam, Jetsam now I got her boys.
The boss is on a roll!
You poor unfortunate soul!