pain is all we know

Pain is all we've known
What do we feel frightened of?
Wouldn't we be better off alone?
Burning lights in the sun
Salvation is so close to hell
Darlin', I hope you understand
Yeah (bo-, boy fifty)
Uh

When I was young, I was abused as an adolescent
By a man my mother loved, but she was too defenseless
A prisoner inside my home, I never felt protected
The scars and bruises that I wore, they told me, "Just accept it"
Accept the fact that I was helpless, couldn't understand
The pain and trauma as a child, my blood was on his hands

Father nowhere to be found, I tried to be a man
I tried to talk to God, I needed love, it wasn't in his plans
I closed my eyes and try to sleep away the thoughts
But the more I tried to run away from pain, the more it fought
All this anger in my heart, don't let it show, all I was taught

Since then, I kept my feelings hidden, locked inside a box
And I started to question if they ever gave a fuck about me
Started to question their intentions and the ones around me
Started to question why this pain is all I know
Maybe I'm better off alone, this world is probably
Better off without me

Pain is all we've known
What do we feel frightened for?
Wouldn't we be better off alone?
Burnin' lights in the sun
Salvation is so close to hell
Darlin', I hope you understand

Yeah
Habitual pain, we pass it down, and we have no remorse
Traumatized from what I've seen, but I ain't have a choice
It's hard to love, I seen my family get destroyed
A world of sorrow in this life, it's somethin' I know
I can't avoid, damn

Was always told the pain controls you if you let it
Was always told the first step is the acceptance
The trust you give, sometimes they use it as a weapon
Why is it always people that we love that hurt us?
I don't get it (fuck)

And truth be told, I question morals 'cause how these people do me
I never open up my feelings, it's detrimental to me
I ain't used to gettin' close 'cause how these people use me
And then they'll paint me as a villain, this shit so confusin'
I think about it, late nights, when I'm in bed
Close my eyes, but I can't hide the monsters in my head
My heart's drownin' in regret 'cause of things I should've said
Come take the bitter out my bones
It rip my heart up out my chest, damn

Pain is all we've known
What do we feel frightened for?
Wouldn't we be better off alone?
Burnin' lights in the sun
Salvation is so close to hell