Secret Track

Well, in case you haven't guessed
You've made it to our mandatory secret track
So, this is us, just sitting around, [?]
And um, since we're cheap and don't feel like printing it
We're going to, um, do our thank yous right now
On the secret track, instead of printing them
I found out I didn't have the original idea
It's like Darwin, and I'm the other guy
Who figured out evolution at the same time as Darwin did
But uh, they figured it out before me
So that's not the point

Dude, this is going to be lame
Because you're going to be trying to say funny things

I'm not going to try to say funny things!

And when Chad tries to say funny things
They turn into not funny things

I'm not saying funny things

*Laugh*

Leave me alone!

*Laugh*

Yeah you are
You're trying to gonna say
You're going to try to say things
That sound cool and funny

Um

Either that or you're going to try too hard
Not
Not to say things that sound cool and funny
Because you're trying too hard

I'm not trying at all

Just by writing it down
You're trying

Well, I, I have certain people I need to thank

You should be recording this right now

We should be
Aren't we?

Are we?

I don't know

We should be [?]

Anyway
Cassie, who do you have to thank?

Um, Mr. Adams because he's cool
Mrs. Larson, because [?]

Teachers, teachers

And because I don't want to be a show queer
And Sailor, because he makes me smile

Aww, Sailor

Aww, Sailor the good horse

Aww
Isn't he the one with worms? See

He doesn't have worms!

See, this is what we should be recording
Just, just start recording (He doesn't have worms)

Yeah
Anybody else, Cassie?
Or is that it?

Um, yeah, the dog
'Cause I like her

Yeah
Well I don't like Giblets, she's stupid

She's not Giblets, it's Dottie, you poop

Dottie the dachshund
She's stupid
Anyway (She's not stupid!)
Anyway, I have to thank people
I would like to thank myself
For existing

Right

Because I am god

Yeah sure (Clever, clever)

Shut up
I'd like to thank Colin
Who's our number one fan

He is

He really is our number one fan

And I'm sorta his number one fan, also (Yeah)

He took his pants off at out first show

Yeah

So that was especially good for us

He was like, our only fan, actually

No, Jon Good's our number two fan

True

'Cause he liked that we wrote a song about him
And I hope he likes that
And I would also like to thank him for letting us use his trumpet
That we never used for anything at all
Um
I'd like to thank my mom
Because she's never supportive and she tells us we suck every day
And that helps us work harder, I guess

Yeah

Well, that's what I'm going to say

Negative reinforcement

Right
I'd like to thank K.C. for security

Yeah

And eating other band members

*Laugh*

Clever, clever, once again

Shut up
I'd like to thank Yamaha, Doritos, and Apple Computer

Yes

That's because they are cool things

Anything else on your list, there, Chad?

Um, I'd like to thank Erin, and Yael, and Nina
(Aww I'm melting) (Yale, *laugh*, Yale)
Shut up
Erin, and Yael, and Nina, because they inspired

'Cause you wrote of their songs, yes
Most of the songs about them

Well, some of the songs are about them
But you don't know which ones, though
And that's the especially funny part
Oh yeah, and Brian D'Astous, too

That's true, yeah

That's because that's especially funny

What?

Don't worry about it
And, um
Oh yeah, and Erin also gave us some musical instruments
So we'd have to thank all of the Waldners for that
Including Keleigh, and Ed, and Kim

Definitely Keleigh

So dirty, so very dirty *laugh* (Yeah)
So, Lee doesn't have anyone to thank

Not really
Thank you, um, for

I'd like to thank the Communist Party, as well
Just because it's a fun thing to say

That's kind of a stupid thing to say, actually

Yeah, I know, but I don't care

But
I suppose if I were to thank anybody
I would have to thank you
Because you're just totally cool

Ya

Aww

Aww, I am melting as well (Yes)

You're my brother

Yeah

That's what everybody says, anyways

Well that's true, they do
Hang on a minute

The uninhib—
And now, further along the secret track
We would like to present to you
Just one of the many subliminal messages that
We've planted within one of our songs
See if you can figure out which one it is
—ited
Blub blub blub blub blub blub
You will give us all of your money
You will give us all of your money
You will give us all of your money

What?

You will give us all of your money

*Laugh*

Lee is a tool

Hell? (Lee)

Lee is a tool
Don't drink Mr. Pibb, it causes cancer

Who's Rachel?

Eat pussy
Eat lots of pussy *laugh*

Wah
Wah

Dut-dut-du-du-du-du-du
Dut-dut-du-du-du-du-dul-uh-dut-dul-uh
Dut-dut-du-du-du-du-dul-uh-dut-dul-uh

Wah

Wah

Woo-hah

*Laugh*

Maw-wah, maw-wah

Wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka

Per-snicket-snicket
Per-snicket

Wakka-wakka-wakka

Waaaa-ah
Waaaa-ah

*Whistle*

*Thpppp*

*Whistle*

Eh-hegh

So I don't know how to use a tape recorder
What do you want from me?
I may be god
I'm not omniscient

Omniscient (What does that?)

Or omnipotent, no omniscient (Omniscient)
I don't know

What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Use a dictionary, genius

I'm not a genius
What does it mean?

I think omniscient and omnipotent are the same
But it's not

I think one is all-seeing and one is all—

All-knowing

All-knowing

I don't know
I think we're pulling it out of our ass

I don't think it matters

Not really

Well, we'd just like to tell you that there is
Going to be a song, but we're going to perform
Like, other songs in between
To throw you off as to which is the real song

Yeah

Because one of them is a song

Ok

And I'd like to say right now
That we're dedicating it to Rachel and Zac
Who are newlyweds

Yes

This year
We went to their wedding
Me and Lee
It was an especially good wedding

It was

And so they both like the Smashing Pumpkins
As far as I know

Yeah, unless one of them
Is just like, playing along

I'm pretty sure—

Unless
Unless Zac is just pretending to like the Smashing Pumpkins
But he really hates them, just 'cause he wants to get—
Well, nevermind

But any-kay
Anyway, don't, don't
Yeah

Don't take it personal

Yeah

You're a good couple

You are a really good couple
And we like you a lot
So we, we
My sister and I
Did an entire Smashing Pumpkins cover song
Because, you know

We did?

Yes, we did (Oh, ok)
Cassie? We just— alright

*Laugh*

She has a very poor short term memory
Anyway, let's—
Here, here's a song that you might enjoy
I'd like to dedicate this one
To all the graduates of Coginchaug
Year 2000

Yeah

Alright, ready?

What can I do?
What can I say?
High school took my identity away
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
I'm just a couple of
Cigarettes away
From being myself
And isn't what they say
Really matters?
Doo doo doo doo

What can I do?
What can I say?
High school took my education away (yeah)
Doo doo doo doo
I'm just a couple of
Heinekens away
From being myself
And isn't what they say
Really matters?
Doo doo doo doo

What can I do?
What can I say?
High school took my tolerance away (yeah)
Doo doo doo doo
I'm just a couple of
Bong hits (Yeah!) away
From being myself
And isn't what they say
Really matters?
Doo doo doo doo

What can I do?
What can I say?
High school took my

Innocence

Innocence away
Doo doo doo doo
I'm just a couple of

Um

Uh

Um

Cocaine lines away
From being myself
And isn't what they say
Really matters?
Doo doo doo doooo

Oh, we could go on for hours

We could
High school takes a lot of things away from you

That's true

Usually your virginity too

That
That's true

Good for
High school

*Laugh*

Not really

Well
Cassie's just saying that because
High school didn't take her virginity away

Shut up (Unless she has a secret)

*Laugh*

It's not like there's any (I'm just, I'm just kidding around) (Yeah)
Good looking guys at our school

There's Zach (There's not any good looking guys?)

Shut up! Shut up!
Don't say that!

There's Zach (Zach?)
Zach Gren-ee-a

Grenier? (Grenier, you dingus!)

Whatever

Maybe, yeah

What if he buys a CD?
What if he buys a CD? (Yeah, what if he—)
And he's like, "Oh my god!"

We like you Zach

Oh wait
Do you
Do you like this Zach?

Mmm, yes

Oh, ok, so we're not, like
Making fun of him because he's really ugly or something?

No (No)
He's gorgeous (Because that'd be kinda mean)

Because Cassie thinks he's gorgeous (Is...?)
He has really nice eyebrows

He does (Ohhh)
He has nice, thick, bushy eyebrows (It's all about the eyebrows)

So does Chad (*laugh*)

Well, you look like
Yours look like little caterpillars
His are nicely shaped

Right
Whatever
We'll let the ladies that one (*laugh*)
'Cause I am single

Your, your ears look like caterpillars?

No, no, my (His eyebrows) (Oh, eyebrows)
My ears look like monkey's ears

They do (Ooh ooh ooh ooh)

They stick out the side of my head
Like (not as bad as mine)
A couple of parasails
Or something

Hmm
You actually
Your eyebrows make you look more
Like
I don't know
One of the lower primates

But, that's all you've done so I'm not sure I see
You're like, "Okay, I'll come in once and record
Because that's what I want to do."

Because you have a dog that wants to kill me

No, he's an especially good dog
He's very cute (He wants to kill everyone)
It's not just you

That doesn't make it better

I know

Because I'm the only one that ever comes to your house

That's not true
Erin started (No)
Erin came to my house
Every once in a while
A while ago

Yeah, that's true

What happened when she came over? (When is she gonna come to—?)

We won't get into that

Woooooo!
The hell!?
You poopy-head!

That's true, it is
This is mister fishy

Yeah

It'd be better if we had done this with a video camera
You know?

Yeah
It's too bad you can't watch a CD

I know
Maybe if we did, like
An enhanced CD or something

Yeah
Oh, you mean one you could play
In your, in your

In your computer
And then it would have the video on it

Yeah, that would be kinda complicated

Yeah, that would also be like
Much more than I feel like doing
As you can tell by this entire CD
I'm incredibly lazy when it comes to production
And other such things

That's true
But!
You're doin'
You're doin' an alright job
I think you're investing more effort in this
Than in most other things

Yeah, but that isn't saying very much
Because most other things
I just sit around and whack my nuts together

That's true
See, the, the thing about it though
Is you're recording some awesome music
Well, I mean, not
I mean, the beats and everything are a little bit off (*Dog barking*)
But a lot of it is awesome (*Dog barking*)

That's K.C
He can hear you

But then we can sing
Then we sing, and—

He's coming up, Lee (and then we fuck it up)
He's gonna eat you

Yeah
Let's let K.C. up and record that

No
No
Don't do it Chad
Come on
I'll never come over again!

Just get back
Get back
Get in the bedroom
Get in the bedroom, go!
C'mon, boy!

No, what are you doing?

He's telling him to get in the bedroom, woo! (*Dog barking*)

You're an asshole! (*Dog barking*)

Lee's crying! (*Dog barking*)

Lee's a little woman! (*Dog barking*)

Lee's injured! (*Dog barking*)

No I'm

Lee's a woman

I've escaped injury once again (*Dog barking*)

(*Unintelligible music*)

The goal of making this CD, was, ultimately
To, um
See how many copyright laws we could break
And how many people we could piss off
All at the same time
And still get away with it
I think that we were successful
And, um
As a summer band
I'd, um
Like to think that
Although the year 2000 is over
And the summer of 2000 is over, anyway
There's still the crappy part of the year left
Um
That we'll be back in the year 2001
With another CD
And another summer
And
Until next time
This is Precious-Little, signing off

Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame
Let's do this right

There comes a time in everyone's life
When you gotta say
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Oh, goodbye, bye
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Ohh
Goodbye
Goodbye

Goodbye