25-29

Happy birthday, my old friend
It'd good to talk with you again
But lately milestones are few and far between

You get your first drink at a bar
then Taylor Swift plays all year long
then no one likes you, then you're out of songs to sing

'Cause there's no romance to being my age
unless you plan on dying
but buddy, we're not gonna burn out on my watch

So if we need a better anthem
for watching our youth held for ransom
by the grocery bills and punch cards
that keep on speeding up the clock

I'll write a new one
for us to sing

I don't know about you
I'm feeling 25 through 29
Fueled by rage and living out of spite

and I don't know about you
I'm just so tired and angry all the time
It takes 40 hours to fund a Friday night
Just to feel good for a moment

And from one year to the next
you watch the dwindling birthday texts
it's not personal, we got so much to do

and the signs of aging hit
like an edible you say ain't shit
and then you're couch-bound and too afraid to move

Time weighs heavy on my brain
but folks like Winehouse and Cobain
are cautionary tales, not how-to guides

and me and all my friends
have danced with ending up like them
but you won't catch me singing songs that make it sound pretty to die

We'll start a new club
for getting old

We'll start a new club
and then we'll get old

I don't know about you
I'm feeling 25 or 49
Fueled by rage and living out of spite

and I don't know about you
but if this PTO request goes through
we'll feel something like normal for a night

and I don't know about you
I hope we do this older
We'll see Star Wars Land in Florida
before it falls into the water

I don't know about you
I hope this world lets us retire
turn into old men 'round the fire
telling stories that our wives heard a hundred times

I hope we do this when we're older
we're gonna do this when we're older
I hope we do this when we're older
we're gonna do this when we're older