ew!!! (it's the failure)

Locked door
On the floor of the bathroom, in my parents' house
Staring at the ceiling
What a goddamned feeling, it is

To live in a big, big, city
But to have no fucking where to go
And I don't even quite know
If I'm welcome in this world

I've fallen, far, far behind
Did I miss all my trains?
Or did I build a goddamn fissure in time?
And did I fall through it?

Cause I don't know, any, any, any, any anything
But every little thing hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, and
Everywhere I go, those fucking mirrors, come right at my face
And scream, 'ew, it's the failure'

A soft kid, I was once
And you know what the world does to people like me
Got crumpled under fists
What the fuck is this, that I've become?
(25!)

I thought, I'd have the answers, and an apartment
And a lover, I'd cook pancakes for breakfast with
But, no, I see my friends in New York, and Paris
Moneyed, and married

While I try to seduce "the machine" with cheap labour
The world doesn't quite like me, how can I bother myself
To try and make it on those big stages, with my big sad songs
When the big men, and their big 'right' parties
And their big 'right' words, are killing us all anyway

The bills don't care, and the demons don't scare easy
What kinda sick game is this?
But if this a goddamned game
How can every loss, make a grown goddamned woman like me cry?

That's exactly why the glasses in this house
Are always half empty
Of course, it's because my lips get to them first
Yes, yes, because
What doesn't kill, just hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts
What doesn't kill, just hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts

Cause I don't know, any, any, any, any, anything
But every little thing hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, and
Everywhere I go, those fucking mirrors, come right at my face
And scream, 'ew'