Bucket Hat Brat

I wonder how long
It'll take to switch the
Reminders off
For your birthday

I wonder how much time
I'd kill by being
Compliant with my
Basic Skills

But I
Can't seem to move
Further than what
I was in school

But I'm not the same
Bucket Hat Brat
That you kissed on Tuesdays
How about that?
I'm not the same
Jittery Freak
That would compliment you
Every week
And I've still got my skeletons
I use them now for Halloween
Never thought I'd make it to
The last year of being a teen

I have liminalities
Where I turn back to twelve
Writing about imaginary dates
And heartbreaks still
Imagining those

And I still need therapy
To process
Underlying dread and the
People who I've left

But I'm not the same
Bucket Hat Brat
That you kissed on Tuesdays
How about that?
I'm not the same
Jittery Freak
That would compliment you
Every week
And yes I still romantasize
Some aspects of reality
Never thought I'd make it to
The last year of being a teen

I'm growing you can see it
From the pants that do not fit me
And I don't sprint from the talks
That would make me want to hit the rocks
I talk to the same pool of people
Show my best and not be bashful
Knowing more about the world
That I want to see myself
Twirl in

I wonder if my youth
Smiles upon the
Way I've bloomed
The new path I'm on
Cause I
Can't wait for you
To evolve from
What you'll go through