STAKES

God what are you fucking doing, you idiot?!
That is the biggest fucking load of bullshit I've ever seen!
NOOOO, God, fuck my ass
Ohh my god, Jesus tits! Ohh my God
Give me a morsel of justice, just a morsel

Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon
Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon

Stakes motherfucker time to get pissed
Time to form your hands into a clenched fist
More upset than we'll be all fucking year
Why we still do it man, it's not quite clear
Beer, now banned during competition
Winning the trophy's the Number 1 mission
Grab blue and red Monsters from the fridge
Blowing blood vessels under the cranial ridge
Shake hands and may the best Stake-ee win
Cause God knows it's intense in Top Spin 4
Next thing you know I'm on the floor
Of Skatedaze cause my worm died from grenades
But that's ok, I'll have my revenge
At the Heartland Park waterfall ascent
Don't forget, all's fair in love and stakes
Got two guys screaming, what does it take?!

Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon
Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon

First punishments were drafted at Subway
The 14th of March, a legendary day
Large cheese curds and a beer at the Moon
Capped off with a honey bun in the afternoon
Stakes code of honor can never be broken
Even if frigid milk is soaking
Burn's head till his brain is fucking frozen
You gotta make em count, our number 1 slogan
Or when Beals had to sport a molestache
Our commitment to Stakes is steadfast
And who the fuck would have ever thought
Hype-pieces would make us experts in photoshop
Damn I'd say we're pretty well read
Wikipedia keeping our brains well fed
And we even make time to meditate
With forced timeouts at Hansen lake

Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon
Stakes motherfucker, ya it's back
Time to strap your little worm with a jetpack
Better put on your best red & blue
And prepare for a "getting pissed" monsoon

It's almost been 2 years, fans have waited since
Era 3 Stakes 6 will soon commence
Twitch stream records are gonna get shattered
Endorsement deals will be served on a platter
Who's gonna win the Carnegie haul?
The final damn Stakes to win them all
That will be settled on the digital playground
But I'll tell ya this, the loser's KC Bound
That's right we're talking non-negotiables
Pray to the FIFA Gods you get enough goals
Six years in the motherfucking making
You can bet your ass our fingers will be shaking
Man it's been quite the journey fo sho
People might think it's just silly Nintendo
But those same people would never know
How much Stakes has helped our friendship grow

Are you giving me an aneurysm
Or are you just giving me an unborn child?
BOTH