Dissonant Rambling of a Spotless Mind

A girl I was working with last week was wearing your perfume
And suddenly I was back in your room

I close my eyes
Escape the day
In dreams I hold you near
But waking up with empty arms
Confirms my deepest fear

Cause in my dreams you're mine
But as soon as that first light shines
You disappear
And reality becomes more severe

God let me sleep forever
Cause at least in my dreams we're still together

When lost in reverie
The life I lead is unknown to me
Cause here our promises were kept
And I never wept
For what I
You know I still can' t accept
(you know I can't accept it)

But in my waking life
Though I know it ain't right
I chose to believe
That I can leave
All our memories behind me
But you haunt my dreams
And I wake up with streams
Of tears rolling down my cheeks
Cause in my dreams
we're tangled up underneath
(underneath your sheets)

I still feel your touch when I think about you
I think about you too damn much
But I
Don't want to lose you
Though they say that the best thing to do
For me and for you

Cause I don't know how not
To love you

And I wish you didn't know me through and through
But God you do

But if I could forget you
Maybe I wouldn't be so subdued
But if I could forget you
I'd deny the only year of my life
Where I felt alive

And I know that ain't rite
But I continue to cry
No matter how hard I try
To have a spotless mind

Oh I could try to forget
The day that we met
Or our very first kiss
I can't say I regret it
But it hurts to reminisce
Cause I know it was bliss

(Now the thought of you makes my stomach churn)

Cause I don't know yet what Iv'e learned
Cause god it still fucking hurts
Yeah it hurts
And I think it's only gonna get worse