Pastor Bob's Last Mission

Past Bob packed his sermon and brim Heading to Earth's crust, though prospects
Were grim With a smile so wide, he boarded the van
Didn't notice that the driver was Satan's right-hand man
They veered left, deep down, where screams echoed round

Bob stepped out into hell, a most unwelcome ground
With his cross and his faith, the locals were stern
This wasn't quite a place to convert, but a place to burn
Oh, oh, dear, past Bob's gone way off track Landed in hell with a thud and a crack

He aimed for the heavens, but the pit's where he fell
Welcome, they chuckled, enjoy your stay Your stay in hell
The lake of fire, where no holy could tread Bob tried to baptize demons, and they all
Wished him dead His hymns were drowned by the whales and the

Chains His mission was futile, with no gains
Fire and brimstone, this ain't a joke Healed Pastor Bob as his spirit broke
He preached and pleaded to no avail The devil just grinned, try email
Bob set up shop near the stick's fierce flow Converted, be saved, this was a hopeful echo

But Cerberus barked and the dam just groaned Leave us in peace, or you'll be de-boned
Oh, oh, dear, Pastor Bob's gone way off track Landed in hell with a thud and a crack
He aimed for the heavens, but the pit's where he fell
Enjoy your eternal workshop, Pastor Bob Enjoy living in hell

Weeks into months, and Bob's faith turned to jest
Even the imps found his zeal hard to digest He planned his escape, but that's no way out
Hell's gates are a one-way ticket And that you have no doubt
So heave his dark tale, ye pastors so bold Not every single mission is doing as it's told

Bob learned the hard way, his faith was well met
In the depths of hell he is preaching it to himself
Oh, oh, dear, Pastor Bob's gone way off track Landed in hell with a thud and a crack
Aimed for the heavens, but the pit's where he fell

Enjoy your eternal workshop, your workshop in hell
You