Firstborn Amateur

The oldest child in the family
Living in a false reality
I'll put on a brave face and take all the blame
It's always my fault things don't go the right way
Anything I do always sets the example
It's far too much pressure a person can handle

That's how it goes
I've been down that road
Spent most of my life taking the blow
And now that I'm grown
I don't let it show
I learned that from the fundamentals of our home

The victim of trial and error
The scapegoat, the bearer of terror
Whatever it takes, so you don't go through the same
You're not my child but I've raised you like my own
There's things that are best that you not know
Just know, I'll keep you safe from the monsters in your closet
I'll die before I break that promise

That's how it goes
I've been down that road
Spent most of my life taking the blow
And now that I'm grown
I don't let it show
I learned that from the fundamentals of our home

Behind closed doors there have been wars
Stored, inside the mind of a firstborn amateur
It hurts, it's tiring, I'm barely surviving
The worst, arising, there's no silver-lining