Deserted Dessert

I found you on the Tinder site
We're swiping left or right
That I do not know
The first time that you saw me

Your first reaction was to shout out really loudly
No
Like a melting ice cream
Lying in the sand

A deserted desert
In a desert land
Is my hope of one day
Take you by the hand

And lead you down the aisle
Where I become your man
I tripped you for a Christmas holiday
And tried real hard to find out things to say

I went out to put my Santa costume on
And when I got back you had ran away
Like a pair of fishes
Lying up on land

Is my hopeful wishes
To have a wedding plan
Is my chance to see you
In a floral wreath

Like that poor old fish when they're trying to breathe
Two for tea
Tea for two
It ain't gonna be with you

You and me
Me and you
That is not gonna be true
I took you to a restaurant

Without knowing you were allergic to everything
When I asked if we could split the tab
You said that you were capable of murdering
Like a little hamster

Running in the wheel
That's a good description
Kind of how I feel
Even though I'm struggling

I could almost swear
Really feels like I'm not getting anywhere
I took you home to meet my parents
But it wasn't such a perfect day

Such a perfect day
They just threw a swing
A party for the neighbors
In a very naked way

Like a melting ice cream
Lying in the sand
A deserted desert
In a desert land

Is my hope of one day
Take you by the hand
Lead you down the aisle where I become your man
I offered you one of my kidneys

But you told me you did not want me to
No matter if I were the final human
You wouldn't want me to be a part of you