Still // Oregon

I haven't seen her since
I still read her emails though
Erry day
Erry day
Erry damn day
Erry day

I still write you letters everyday
I still can imagine what you'd say
I still haven't made your favorite dinner
Since I've been eating alone

I still listen to our old playlists
I still remember all of our date trips
I still keep a folder of our pictures
On my camera roll

And though I haven't seen you in months
I still haven't fallen out of love

I need to move on
I'm never gonna get Cece back
I know it's my fault that I lost her
You lost her twice
You had her, then you got her, then you blew it
Then you got her
Who are you clarifying this for

I still haven't finished our shows
And I'm still pretty sure that I won't
I still haven't read the rest of my Bachman book
And I won't even try

I still have the things you left behind
Like sweaters, hats, and notes you wrote that night
I still keep your favorite chips in my kitchen
As if you'll still come by

And even though we don't keep in touch
I still haven't fallen out of love

And I don't think I ever will
Is it possible to feel this way forever
I'm scared of standing still
And ignoring what is real
We don't belong together

I still am with you in my dreams
And I still don't know what that means
I still have never felt as seen
As when your eyes and ears were on me
Your love was so beyond me
Your love was so beyond me

And though I haven't seen you in months
And even though we don't keep in touch
And even if the pain is too much
I still haven't fallen out of love

If you still love me
We're both out our twenties
And you think we could be more again
Would you meet me in Oregon
Where we went on my birthday
At the mansion on a hill
I know it's been so long
Do you remember still

Hey
I'm sorry that this didn't work out
I'm sorry that we sucked