Can I Live?

Yeah
Family stress
Going head to head
Court cases
My arrest
24-7 care
Who's there?
Two deaths
Empty crib
Never cried
Like I did
Shawty left
Didn't notice
God got me where its the closest
My brother next
Swear that heart me the mostest
Months on end
Caught a plane
To be near
Another death
Back again
Momma got beef
She don't wanna speak
I ain't tripping
One day she'll see
Don't need acceptance
Moved my other brother in
Can't be neglected
Take him to school
Do what I gotta do
Turns on the news
That's when I seen my dawg
More tears
Wishing that he's still here
Felt like hell
Will it end?
Couldn't tell
But when it did
That's when they take away the kid
Can I live?
Yeah
I ain't tryna go to jail but I will for that shit
Can I live?
I'm tryna finish a degree
But I don't stress bout exams
Cause I been stressing since a teen
Can I live?
The shit that makes a man is responsibilities
And when its fight or flight
I fight until I bleed
But for three years no proper sleep
Can I live?

Ooo can I live?
Dear God can I live?
Never complained never did

Told my little brother don't ever get my name tatted
Talk with your actions cause words never mattered
Problems in my life just keep on getting bigger
And the way she did my brother dirty I just can't forgive her
Was walking around with a blade for months
Tryna put it in somebody's liver
I guess they got the message
Message got delivered
Still on sight withcha
He gotta pay for all that shit he said I just can't leave him
Ain't letting shit slide till one of us is bleeding
There was a time you loved to see my brother suffer
And for that I gotta get you back one way or another
Get you back one way or another dawg
Gotta pay for your sins one way or another
See I ain't no gangsta but for the fam I'm bananas
Just a lebo with a temper tryna control his anger
I spent a lot of months tryna get him off hammer
And I spent a lot of months tryna do it off camera
I see the shootings in my city I wanna do one too
This ain't a fair fight this ain't two on two
In the middle of the night time 2:12
Got off the M5 in the 212
I can feel the shaytan in my bloodstream
OG's tryna put sense in me
Still ain't dealt with losing the one that raised me
When you grieving try not to go crazy
Damn how much I miss that lady
She was the love of my life
Now I'm in the dark
Spinning the block in Condell Park
Like let me catch him slipping one time

I think my mamas prayers are finally working
My heart is turning
I'm finally learning
Bout to gather all my bitches and deliver my final sermon
I just did tawba that means I'm back a virgin
It's time to move on shawty
Imma go to Hajj come back a newborn shawty
I'm sitting here contemplating whether to become a pilgrim
And all this bitch is talking bout is getting her tits done
She wanna know why I never put a ring on her
I wanna know why I never flew her to Dubai just to shit on her
I got bored started to piss on her
And I know I'm wrong but life is blurry when its dirty
I started early
I'm nearly thirty
I'm tryna find a sunnah to revive
Hmm, let me think
Okay I'll choose getting multiple wives
I close my eyes and see the demons
This life is like a cell I want my freedom
I want nirvana but I feel like Cobain
It's better to burn out than to fade away
You don't love God as much as cocaine
Throw him in the trunk and light the whole flame
Swerving both lanes
I was
Bagging it up in the trap
Hitting the bitch from the back
Soon as the cuzzy comes
Shawty I be right back
In the trap doing my essay
Watching the cameras nothing but headaches
All these cheap thrills sending me to hell
I'm not happy here can you tell?
Put her on a spit with my dawg
I'm just bored I need God but I'm torn
They say life is short I say
Life's too long
These hoes don't even get me hard no more I'm over it
My hearts been closed for so long it's time to open it
Maybe it's time
How can I respect a man that cheats on his wife
Or has no rules in his life
I know you see me doing wrong
But I'm about to do right
Cause I'm not like
These hypocrites around you
Pretending to be somebody they not
Nah that's not true
What you see is what you get
Money don't buy respect
I'd rather be broke but legit
Rather work hard and just sweat
I'm so tired of this shit
If I wasn't scarred baby
Would you see the good that's in my heart baby?

Am I good or evil?
Or is it equal?
You get different answers
Asking different people
Am I good or evil?
Or is it equal?
You get different answers
Asking different people
But ask God and we'll see what He says
When the angel of death comes to collect
Imma be right there
Waiting
You know I'll be right there
Can I live?
God forgive me for the shit that I did
Can I live?
I'm sorry for the things that I did
Let me live
I'm scared of falling back in sin
That's why I
Don't wanna live
Matter fact
Can I Die?
Dear Lord I wonder why
You keep giving me life
When you know I wanna
When you know I wanna
Die

I seen the car accident before it happened
And I prayed for death nothing happened
I was in an earthquake and I prayed for death
Nothing happened
I was on Bungalow road
And I asked God to send stones
Nothing happened
Too much corruption hurt my soul
That's what happened
Too much corruption hurt my soul
That's what happened

I don't wanna hit the club no more
Nah I'm over it
I don't want these hoes no more
Nah I'm over it
I don't wanna hurt my soul no more
Cause I'm over it
All this anger in my blood
Yeah I'm over it
I don't wanna hang in the streets no more
Cause I'm over it
I don't wanna numb my pain no more
Nah I'm over it
I don't want this drama in my life
Yeah I'm over it
I asked shawty to be my wife
But she's over it
I wanna live somewhere quiet
Man I'm over it
I don't want this fame shit that lame shit
I'm over it
Cause I just had eight in seven days
Went six on the flow
Will anybody miss me when I'm gone?
When I'm gone