Great American Bitch

I'm a great American bitch
I refuse to wear corsets and lace
I earn my own wages
And burst into rages
When men say "Know your place"

My boss tried to fondle me under my skirt
I kicked him like this in the crotch
Where it hurt
I got fired
But hey
I'd rather be right than rich

'Cause I'm a great American bitch (she's a -, she's a great American bitch)
I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)
Great American bitch

I'm a great American bitch (queen bitch)
I seduce whoever I please (very jealous!)
I fornicate freely
And some say I really bring gentlemen to their knees

I proposed to a Dutchman
We're wedded in bliss
'Cause he doesn't mind who else I might kiss
Though most of the time I prefer to scratch my own itch

'Cause I'm a great American bitch (she's a -, she's a great American bitch)
I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)
Great American bitch!

Lucy, your turn
Lucy, go! (Come on, Lucy)

I'm a great American
I'm sorry, honestly I just don't love that word
(We'll do it together, come on!)

You're a great American bitch (well, thanks)
I've known it since sophomore year (not this story!)
When Professor McMaller said "Only male scholars
Could manage a doctor's career" (boo, professor)

He drove this expensive new Ford Model T
So I scratched it all over with my bedroom key
But Lucy went further (I may have pushed his car into a ditch)
Why?

('Cause I'm a great American)
She's a -, she's a great American bitch
I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)
Great American bitch

Drink if they've called you a nag
Drink if they've called you a slut (or a shrew)
Drink if they've called you a crazy hag
Drink if the rumors are true

I'm a great American bitch (yes, you are!)
Once, I cut my own hair (doesn't count)
And one time I took out a library book and never returned it
I swear (oh, you're bad)

Lady, thy bitchhood hath only begun
We'll train you (ordain you)
Thank God (better run!)
Here's to our coven and long may we love to bewitch

To the great American bitch!
You're a -, you're a great American bitch
You're a -, you're a great American bitch

You're a -, you're a great hysterical
Arrogant, lecherous, treacherous U.S.A. bitch
(You're a -, you're a) bitch
(You're a -, you're a) bitch
(You're a -, you're a bitch!)