Ups & Downs

I go so hard, why I'm so hard, this on myself, kid
I don't talk a lot, still got a lot of shit I never said
My ups and downs, this shit ain't even, still stay level-head
I know they bleed just like I bleed, so I ain't never scared

Get paid for tragedy, put my plaque all on my deathbed, yeah
I love my block and I been gone, but I ain't never left, yeah
Been holdin' grudges on my daddy 'cause he ain't never said sorry
Put this metal on his melon, nigga ever say somethin'

Say somethin', got a thing for red rum
In my head so messed up, when I think
Get in the car and pull out, that bitch lift up
Heart been broke so many times like how the hell I still love? Yeah

They could never take somethin' God gave me, got a heart
Believe in me, I had it hard, don't go against me
I be tryna act happy around my son, he feed off energy
I be seein' the hurt inside my mama, shit be killin' me
I been busy, Lord, just let my sisters know I got 'em
Niggas with me, these more like my brothers, not my partners
Yeah, I wish Dre could see me now
It hurt me when they shot him dead
Watchin' out for snakes inside my grass
These niggas copperheads

Ridin' in my cars, I know I'm legal
But I ain't tryna go to jail, so I still watch for 12
Got Ash and Pluck, this shit forever, it got me outta jail
Collect calls to my mama, sayin' I'll never tell
Mama, you raised me well
Mama raised me right, I did wrong on my own
Got a house in every county
But I can't call this place home it ain't my block
2200, it's on my eyes and this shit locked
Ghost all on my gun, no serial number, but this a Glock, nigga

Rel, I blame myself that I couldn't save you
I'm still tryna figure out where they had chased you
And that shit killed you, and that shit killed me
I'm good, my kids love me, I don't care about who fear me
They think where we come from, we ain't got hearts, we still cry
If niggas tried this shit two years ago, we still slidin'
This shit off my head, this real pain, I don't steal lines
Still say to my mama sorry that I chose violence

This shit won't stop, mama
Catch him outside and gotta spin they block, mama
But my neck water like the bottom of the dock, mama
Know what go around come around just like a clock, mama
That mean if I spin, I go again until they shot, mama

I still make shit happen
And I pray that God judge me off my heart, not my actions
I go to sleep and I see demons
Please don't wake me up, I'm fightin' 'em off, I'm still dreamin'

Woah
And I don't care to be the hardest
I'm tusk tough just like a walrus
And this on gang, we ain't the gang that you want war with
Nothin' don't last forever, but while I'm here, I'ma enjoy it

I'm lyin'
I worked so hard for all this money to give 'em every dime
Can't say you call me and I ain't pick up
Nigga every time
Say one more strike and then I'm out, shit
I'm like Barry Bonds
Shit, I got rich, prepared for war, I bought like every gun
Tryna save my niggas, they so deep, shit
They won't leave the slums
I say I love you, then I mean it, I ain't tryna lead you on
Before I ever do you wrong, baby, I'll leave you 'lone