Missed My Chance

I've been at the same job since I was 18
Sometimes I hate it so much I wanna scream
Maybe I should've gave in
And followed my dad's dreams

I've made a lot of good friends through the years
I wish that even one was still here
But for most of my life
I've been a man that's hard to be near

Me and my sister went our own ways
I don't even know her last name
But I can't pick up the phone
She's got four kids I don't know

I've been suffocating in my old ways
And I'm tired of acting like I'm okay
I am lost
As I wander down these untraveled roads

I cannot keep waiting here for all time
I'm just calmly straddling a fault line
In my head
I think I missed my chance long ago

There was a girl that I loved back in high school
Sometimes I think about her and what's she up to
Would my life be better
If I'd just told her the truth

I ran away from my mom at 15 years old
Did I leave too early, did I stay too long
Tell me when's the best time
To find all your innocence gone

I dove headfirst in this thing we call real life
Armed with only my sharp wit in a gunfight
Desperate just to be content
But I still haven't found that feeling yet

I've been suffocating in my old ways
And I'm tired of acting like I'm okay
I am lost
And there's no one left to guide me back home

I'm romanticizing all my past lives
While I'm calmly straddling the fault line
In my head
I think I missed my chance long ago

And I'm better off on my own