Easy To Smile

It's more than a song
But less than a dream
I know what I say
Is not what I mean
Pretending my words
Aren't meant to deceive
I am playing with doubt
I want to believe
I know that it's hard
To explain why I'm here
I complain though I know
There's nothing to fear
But the fear and the doubt
That wind through my mind
Are inventions of mine
That help pass the time
So here is my song
I wrote it for me
I need to recall
That it's easy to be
The times that I've faced
My life as a trial
Have taught me to see
That it's easy to smile
I'm more than a child
But less than a man
I know where I've been
But not who I am
I'll say that I'm strong and
I'll tell you I'm free
But none of that is true
I just want it to be
Once I entered a room
I pulled down the shade
I turned out the lights
I wanted to fade
But I noticed the wall
Right there looking at me
Pretending to be blind
I really wanted to see
So here is my song
I wrote it for me
I need to recall
That it's easy to be
The times that I've faced
My life as a trial
Have taught me to see
That it's easy to smile
It all seemed to happen
A while ago
At a time I was lost
I just didn't know
That doubting was simply
A game that I had
It gave me a reason
For feeling this bad
There are times there are changes
My memory moves
Preaching the patterns
I've worn into grooves
Repeating mistakes
I made in my youth
Learning the lines
And calling them truth
I can't help but change
I can't help but survive
I might drown in doubt
But I'll still be alive
So here is my song
I wrote it for me
I need to recall
That it's easy to be
The times that I've faced
My life as a trial
Have taught me to see
That it's easy to smile