Time Machine

If you had a time machine, what would you do?
You could travel through space and time, doing anything you wanted to?

Would you buy bitcoin in 2010
Would you find hitler and shoot him in the head?
Would you kill yourself as a kid
Just to see what would happen?

Would you get a CT scan in 2023 instead
To catch your tumor well before it spread?

How about winning the lottery?
Accumulating loads of property?
No there's one thing that's mandatory
The absolutely highest priority

I would kill Benjamin Franklin
Get extra hour to sleep in
I'd hang him from a clothesline
To destroy daylight savings time
I would kill Benjamin Franklin
Get extra hour to sleep in
I'd hang him from a clothesline
To destroy daylight savings time

So you've killed poor old Benny boi
Whats next for you?
Gonna make like lupin
And rob the Louvre?
Maybe go and save Franz Ferdinand
Or tell all book publishers to reject ayn rand

Go collect some dinosaur DNA
Make an omelette with some pterodactyl egg
No I feel the spark in my veins
Ive got to visit my boi Benny again

Gotta stop him from getting electricity --wrong
Make sure he labels positive on electrons
He got it backwards and ruined my life
He'll learn his lesson with my kitchen knife
Gotta stop him from getting electricity --wrong
Make sure he labels negative on protons
He got it backwards and ruined my life
I'll permanently stop him from cheating on his wife

Yes I know Benjamin Franklin
Did not invent daylight savings
It was actually George Hudson
But that's not as funny for the joke

I wouldn't kill Benjamin Franklin
Just have a nice conversation
About the nature of electricity
And modern political reality

I wouldn't kill Benjamin Franklin
Have him change the constitution
Let him test his lightning rod
At the constitutional convention