Tokyo

End of the road, you know how that goes
I've been thinking, don't think I'll join you anymore
I think the government knows about cliffs and coasts
Alcohol abuse and trashed suicide notes
I never got what I wanted the way that I saw it
And you can't redraw it like you draw Tokyo

I've been seeing a lot of movies
But I don't remember the movies
All I remember
Is what I was eating
Staring at my lap
Staring at my hands
Staring at the wall
So I get startled by claps

I've been doing a lot of sleeping
But I don't think about sleeping
I think about constant buzzing
And terrible dreaming
Dreaming about places
That I knew as a kid
Back when dogs were nice
And balloons existed

I thought that I heard Grant talking
This guy I knew as a kid
Back when people were nice
And balloons were the shit

Awake early each morning looking in the mirror
Decide how I'll make that ugly face disappear
Hey, when I'm really dead will you want me again?
And not just for Scrabble or one more ex-boyfriend?

Grant's a butcher in Boulder tying the knot soon
Robert's tethered to white wine alone in his room