Cheri, God, Online

I opened up my phone
And forgot that I had asked the stars
If there was a hope of compatibility with you
You know I don't believe in it, just don't make me repeat it
Especially don't ask me if I wish that it were true

Ah

But God's not in the sky, he's a 60-year-old veteran
Who lives in Indiana and misses his dead wife
He wrote a YouTube comment that sort of felt like medicine
About the unpredictability of his whole life

He said,
"I'm gonna miss her every day until I see her
Cheri was my world until that hot September day
And sleeping here is torture, but when you kids sing that cover
Of Landslide, well it makes me cry and somehow feel okay"

"Cheri was my rock and my Cheri held the ocean
When we would sit and talk about the things that we could do
But after last September, I'll admit that I stopped voting
'Cause what's a guy like me without his Cheri got to lose?"

Mmm
Ah

And there were lots of comments like
"You dumb fucking Republican
You're also gonna die asphyxiating on the sand"
But someone with the username 'I love coffee and robots'
Replied "Hey, actually I don't think that it's quite so bad"

But God is not a person, he's an animated sailor
Who seduced me in my dream last night until I woke up hot
I laid there for a minute
Kinda turned on and embarrassed
Then I watched that thing you sent me that I used to watch a lot

Mmm

You wanna leave the bar but I wanna have another
And I wanna get you drunk so you will tell me how you feel
I'm pushing all your buttons like they're air or softened rubber
But when you push me back your hands are mittens made of steel

But God is not a sailor, it's the last remaining pages
Of the journal where I chronicled my life before you
The way that I refer to it is almost like a manual
Mechanical and cold, but in the coldness it is true