Becoming the Lastnames

Don't take the following words
As reverence for tradition
I've learned to pick my battles
By losing most I've fought
The more mores subverted
The more sense I'm missing
And I'll always do it my way
Even if that's just the same way I was taught

I'll bring home the bread
And you'll stay home and bake it
Mm-hmm, weeding out the garden
Where the milestones gather moss
Crack a smile at my vows and whisper
"Wow, can you believe we really made it?"
As I give up on dodging rice and fold my cape
I say, "Obviously not"

But I want to be just like my parents
Before I was born
Oh, can we be just like my parents?
Mm-hmm

I know you don't want kids
But think about a daughter
We could name her Gwendolyn
Like mom would have called me
I'm not sure yet myself
But I learned from a good father
Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up
But I think that's just the gig

And maybe it's just some hormones
That kick-in in your late 20s
But I have laid a lot of women
And now I'd like to just lay down
And marriage always scared me
But I'd like to have a last love
And love can last a pretty good long while
I've seen it around

Oh, can we be just like my parents
When I was young?
Why can't we be just like my parents?
Mm-hmm
So tongue out of my cheek now
I'm done pulling faces
Iconoclasm wanes, my cynicism tires
But what do I know 'bout forever
When so far I've been so fleeting?
Babe, my frontal lobe's done growing
This might just be how I'm wired

But now we're kissing before brushing
Smile with our whole faces
If you want a hyphen last name
I guess, I don't mind the cadence
I've seen home videos
I was there back in the '80s
And if I'm just them, and they back then
Could do it, why can't I?

Just like my parents in due time
Imagine me
Just like my parents, yeah, right

'Cause I've made more mistakes
Than simple empty moments
Ooh-ooh, each one as out of character
As you know I tend to be
There'll be scalpers at the cemetery gates
With all my would-be widows weeping
Ooh, I'd have forgotten all their names
So why should you remember me?

If we grow old together
Will you talk to my headstone?
That is, assuming that I die first, which is fair
And assuming I don't leave
Close enough to forever
I guess, to prove what I hope
I mean, otherwise, how am I to believe?
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm