Right Hand Men

Right, men
Listen up
The rumour's in the room that time's up
That I've somehow lucked out or cocked up
I'm locked out or I've knocked up a shack job

But the rumour mill's for turning, and I'm not
Go gentle into that good night? Nop
We gentlemen put up a good fight, wot
We got a manifesto, lest yo' all forgot

We pride ourselves on our identity
We describe ourselves with a diminutive c
A little c but you see that we still love the capital
To cap it all we back it all with this sanctity

Like we earned it, and everyone else spurned it - poverty only
Hurts those too stupid to swerve it or work f'rit
I live to serve
'cept the serfs, they don't deserve it
Amiright? Amiright?

My right! Amiright? I was born for this
I was praised and raised to be adorned wi' this
My right hand men blazed me a trail for this rite
I'm crazed for this, I got a horn for this
I raise my right hand and legally I'm sworn for this
Pledge allegiance to God and King but I warn you this
My word flows free and easy and it doesn't mean piss
My God goes out the window when I throw him
A kiss
Mwah

Ma word, ma God, ma gosh, ma goodness
This shouldn't be so easy, or come for free, should this?
Well fear not - the fee paid, we did business
My right hand men laid down good hard cash for this shiz
Paid my way for this, paved the way to this
Put me in prime position, living my bliss
So don't make me wait for this
Fate's ordained it
It's mine and high time my greatness shines, yiss

I got women waking up wet in the morning
Yawning, what's this Tory?
Morning glory
Dawning on them just what a con they bought in to
This door they walked in through's to a room full of finks who
Thinks we can pinch what we want if we chip in, an' who knew?
We were right, right, men? Don't begin to
Complain in vain the way we mansplain the pain away
We paid you
Now you say we didn't pay you respect
Heck, what did you expect? Intellect?
I may not be Becks but I'm posh
And bish bosh, the next best thing yet
In every way I'm all set
Now check

Now check
I got money
I got power
I got fame for at least the next hour
I got as good as I gave and nothing less
And did I say you were wet? That's just an uneducated guess

My right, am I right? This is my land, man
If any men can lay claim then my men can
Jesus sits at my right hand, a cis white man
Telling me it's all in his plans
It's all in my hands

I got money
I got power
I got fame for at least the next hour
So don't make me wait for this
Fate's ordained it
It's mine and high time my greatness shines, yiss

Straight outta Harrow wi'out a string to my bow
But a (brr)ring to the associate I know'll open the door
To a CEO role, a sweet seat and a payroll
Elite on the dole, sit back, slack and relax, yo
But there's one position I want so much more
So right hand men, transition me
Baron, Lady, Lord
Assigned rex at birth
This is what I was made for
Sign X first, before you give it a thought

Ma word, ma God, ma gosh, ma goodness
This shouldn't be so easy, or come for free, should this?
Well fear not - the fee paid, we did business
My right hand men laid down good hard cash for this shiz
Paid my way for this, paved the way to this
Put me in prime position, living my bliss
So don't make me wait for this
Fate's ordained it
It's mine
It's mine
It's mine
It's mine
It's mine

So you pride yourself on your identity
You describe yourself with a diminutive c
A little c but you see you still love the capital
To back it all you cap it all with this sanctity

Reform
Reform
Reform
Reform

Reform Reclaim reuse recycle
The cycle goes on
With, like, Michael Gove on a
Building site where no-one wants to see him drone on
On on on on
With a beat on an empty drum
Empty but for the beat of someone
Beating his self at the thought of his mum
Finally showing him love now he's come
To lead his country all the way to stagnation
("Ya made it, son!")

So use your right hand, men, take control of your state
We'll sit in parliament and there we'll have a mass debate
United and hard right we'll start like we mean to go on
And on and on and on and on (oh, oh, oh!)
Till we come to a conclusion, or lose that election
Don't sweat it, it happens to every member eventually
And yeah I know we all got a lot on our hands now
But leave it to everyone else to
Get these stains out