I'm Gonna Treat This Room

Driving in my car
Eyes get heavy, can't go too far
I pull in for a bed
You smile at me and say, "No sweat"
You hand me a key
Then you say, "That'll be fifty"

I'm gonna treat this room like shit
'Cause you made me pay fifty dollars for it
I'm gonna treat this room like shit
'Cause you made me pay fifty dollars for it
Fifty dollars seems to me
Like an exorbitant fee
So I'm gonna get full use of my money

And you say there's free HBO
(I heard there was free HBO!)
But it turns out it's just Showtime
(Oh man!)
And you leave out lots of little crappy soaps
In the hopes I won't commit some towel-thieving crime
Well, maybe not this time
But then you leave me no shampoo
So what am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?

I'm gonna treat this room like shit
'Cause you made me pay fifty dollars for it
I'm gonna treat this room like shit
'Cause you made me pay fifty dollars for it
Fifty dollars seems to me
Like an exorbitant fee
So I'm gonna get full use of my money

There's no ventilation in the bathroom stall
So I'm gonna kick some holes in the wall
TV remote is glued to the nightstand
So I'm gonna break it to pieces with my hand
Series of mirrors up on the ceiling
I guess I'll get in touch with how I am feeling
I'm feeling pretty good

The thermostat'a broken, the heat won't get hotter
Let's see what happens when you just add water
None of the hangers come off of the clothes rack
I'll get a blowtorch and take care of that
Fluorescent bulbs and no natural light
I'm guess I'm gonna have to make a bonfire
Tonight