new moon

I've been on my phone too much
Tried to put a limit on, but gave up
And I've been drinking too
But I stopped with the new moon
And I intend to see it through
I intend to see it through

Normally I'm anxious and scared of change
But I find myself wanting more and more
And less and less of the same
Lately, I've been thinking with no heart but two brains
And I find myself wanting more and more
And less and less of this shame

I've been using too much weed
Thought that it would help my ovaries
But then I was abusing
It was no longer amusing and
I've been trying to consume
Everything in sight to help me through
Everything in sight except for you

Normally I'm dreaming of what my life could be
And I find myself wanting more and more
Of peace and serenity
Not used to setting boundaries or saying how I feel
But there's only so many more times that I can
Starve my body just so I can deal

I'm ready to write the next part of my life
If it's just up to me
I'd be done, I'm tired of standing still
'Cause I'm not okay, and I wish I could say
That I'd mastered the art
Of being grateful for today

But I have needs like anyone
And here I don't feel like I'm anyone
God, help me feel like I'm someone
Someone like me

(I wonder if I'll ever not feel like I'm starting over)

(I dissociate, I think it's something we all do)

(It's easy to be fake, I guess)

(But I want to feel)

(I want to feel everything)