Aesthetic (Narrator's Edition)

Some mental illness is now accepted
All those stares waiting patiently
For my expected violence
Tell me I'm so strong for spreading awareness
It never did anything except tell you not to be a fucking dick
I still can't afford my meds
I have people tell me I'm courageous
American politicians love us damaged goods
Keep us sick
So nobody ever gotta look in any other direction
I love you
Fuck your inspiration
I just wanna doc appointment

Am I wicked am I bright
As I watch you open up the
Sterilized thing that's about to bite
Might as well put me in a cage
Fill me up with prescriptions
Till I either smile or break
For I was caught up in a storm
Pacing 'round the house
Trying to board up all the doors
Terrified that someone might see
The abnormalities embedded in me
No matter how I try
No matter how I fight
The difference between you and I
Keeps me up at night
For I was told something about me
Just wasn't right

I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics in your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing except so unbearably light

Lover don't look at me that way
I need you to stand safely clear
Away from my gaze
For I'm about to burst in flames
Oh my insides are tight
I'm terrified for you to see me this way

For I don't know what's happening to me
But I'm standing on the brink of torment and ecstasy
And how desperately I need for you to know exactly
What that means
Waves are crashing I take action
Every time I get nervous I write about it
Baby can't you see this affliction in me
Is both constricting and setting me free

I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics in your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing except so unbearably light

There's a darkness in me
Though you cannot see it
I feel it when I breathe
And I've grown so tired
Of hiding my supposed shame
The imbalance in my brain
When all I really want
And really need
Is for you to tell me that it will be okay

To be who we are
Should never hide ourselves
Eradicate the taboo nature
Of our mental health
We all deserve to be represented
Instead of forced to conform
To your anesthetics
Call me crazy
We are a society of hypocrites
I'm tired of false love for community
Rather see us whine or just die?
I need a fucking hug
These lullabies in the media
That tell you lies that we are dangerous
And the only way to feel is light
And there's something wrong with you
There's always something wrong with you
If you aren't happy all the time

I'm my own aesthetic
I'm the sharp edges that you hide
I commission on feelings
That can't always bring delight
All your anesthetics in your beautiful lullabies
Make me feel nothing except so unbearably light.