This Room

Don't I look pristine?
Don't I look so clean?
I'm painted for you.
I know our distance is obscene,
but it permits your dreams
about my dance in black and blue.

I feel so very sad.
I dream and slip away to cry at the night sky.
What's sensical becomes so mad.
I'm in this room to stay, aren't I?

I know I'm a freak -
with every tear I weep
I sob my fear to sleep,
I emulsify as I creep
into the corners
of my deep despair.
Count monsters - everywhere.
Reflect: why don't you care?
And you're still standing there.

Why do I try? I don't know.
What do I really have to show?
I must hold hope but it wanes so.
I cannot shine, I do not glow.
I'm failing to be one of you -
I'm glad yet I'm heartbroken, too -
the power, it all lies with you
and all the harm that you do.

I dream of Masquerades and soirees
where I can breathe and run so fast that I can fly.
Pretend I'm breathing in - it's truly magic to amaze.
I can't be in this room to stay, surely, can I?

Alone in here at last.
You can obscure the past,
you can keep me in here; in place,
but you will never know my face.

I'm at the edges of your mind.
Tip of your tongue - words you can't find.
Finger tips, I run right through.
I overwrite you - forget me, too.