Blue as Sky

When life deteriorates I lose myself, my notion screams
I'm in the trees, testing faith on what my spirit needs
You couldn't tell me how to move my plate, it's mines to feed
My paranoia's clouding judgement, I just need to breathe
I use my words for subtle messages, I hope it sticks
I wasn't spoon fed this gift, I built it brick for brick
My pen is bending as I go, my skin is getting thick
Cause lord knows I lose composure, often way to quick
Raised by mothers teachings, black women overlooked
And mom I'm sorry for trauma and shit you took
This country often likes to underpay and overbook
I try to season plates for days I hope that I don't overcook
My soul is often filled, with pleasure when the rain is pouring
It's something bout the way it flows, the sound is so restoring
I guess the way the clouds are shaped, is something I'm adoring
But my mind will change, as soon as sunny days come in the morning
It's too hard to trust, when all your life you've been deceived
That's why I watch the world, in every single step I heed
And I won't stop, until my heart and soul is breaking free
From chains of fear, despair, and grief I speak my words into this sheet
My pen resembles all my hopes and fears, of being great
There's something in me that's chooses to sit back and wait
Cause I'm so scared of messing up, and then conceive the weight
Of everyone's opinion, please just hold my hand and keep me safe
There's some days I wanna roll a joint and just get high
But it's just not my style to cope with the things that drive
The perception of a young adult, that wants to hide
A fire that's inside their body, but my heart is blue as sky
Wanna unleash the flame in inside my veins, I wonder why
It's cause the past has gave me certainty inside my eyes
My blood was shed by all my morning screams and mental fights
A shade of me is seeing red, but my heart is blue as sky
A shade of me is seeing red, but my heart is blue as sky
Yeah