out the club

I don't know what to do with myself when I'm all alone
Been a hard month
Been a hard year
I got old bones
Take my words when I die
I want them all to know
Don't wanna leave with them
I set it all in stone
Still paranoid no one wants to listen
Looking for more attention when it's given
I run myself into the ground for people out of tradition
Too far gone for forgiveness, not worthy of permission
I've flown across the world
Still having trouble finding a home
Couldn't tell you the path I've been walking on
I've been on my own
Used to the heartbreak
Don't even hope when I pick up my phone
Drinking the pain away
I'm just waiting for the dial tone
I wanna be needed, and that's exactly why I never am
I'm staying seated
I know you never gave a damn
Taking a beating
My head and my heart are never with the program
I'm always reading
I know the ending
I see the door slam in my face
Can't talk about why it was open to begin with
All I can do is get to my feet
Living the matrix the way I throw my sorrow into the smith
I'm just melting metal, foot is to the pedal
I can't stop
When the dust settles, I'm afraid of the coming collapse
I fall into the same traps
I pull myself apart
The same rubber band snaps
Is it a relapse when none of the cracks close
I never had the backbone
Taking for granted the friends that I have
Still pulling the ones that I love too close
I don't wanna hold myself back
But letting people down is what I fear the most
The longer I live
I figure out who I am but I end up with less of a plan
I end up drawing new lines in the sand
I end up digging my grave with my own hands
My father had his heart open on an operating table
I'm reminded that we're all just man
How do I give him grandkids when I have my own flames to fan
Trying not to take my life for granted but I'm just one man (damn)
The club is calling but if I'm being honest
The door been following like it's my fan
I've got some good days stocked up
But I keep waiting for the hammer to drop
I keep waiting for the bubble to pop
I keep waiting for a reason to stop

Keep me out the club
You gotta keep me out the club
I think living is enough
Won't you keep me out the club

Keep me out the club
You gotta keep me out the club
I think living is enough
Won't you keep me out the club

Keep me out the club
You gotta keep me out the club
I think living is enough
Won't you keep me out the club



Credits
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