i never see it go

It's all a mess in my head
Can't look behind
Can't look ahead
Was it something I said
Won't you leave me for dead
No, I can't sleep sober
I been drowning in deep water
Pushing up this boulder
I'm just making room for all this shit on my shoulders

It's all a mess in my head
Feel like I'm living on my own and I just can't take it
Was it something I said
Not really thinking right now
I guess I'm just tryna make it
No, I can't sleep sober
Don't wanna see her again until I want her to come over
Pushing up this boulder
I thought I'd make it up the mountain
But I'm only getting older

I just feel like time's running out
Oh, I can't quite shake it
I been doing things I thought I hated
I can feel it all falling down
Oh, I can't quite fake it
I'm stuck in a cycle I created

Words I shouldn't say are always on the tip of my tongue
And when I need to speak
My voice seems to stick in my lungs
I wanna start moving forward, but I'm so bad at directions
I've heard it all before
Always yelling at my reflection
I don't speak my mind anymore
I guess once my heart got broken
It would never be as open as it was before
I can't break the habit
I'm waiting at someone else's door
I still pick the phone up
When I don't know what you're asking for
I don't miss the chase but I can't avoid it
I always play the sidekick in my head
I don't feel wanted
I make up stories in my mind like I been appointed
Like it's my job to fall for women and end up disappointed
And that's just how I spiral out of control
I don't plan a pity party
It's just how it unfolds
I'm tryna seal up the cracks
But I don't know how much I'm able to hold
I told you all my greatest fear is that I'm gonna die alone

And I just feel like time's running out
Oh, I can't quite shake it
I been doing things I thought I hated
I can feel it all falling down
Oh, I can't quite fake it
I'm stuck in a cycle I created

It's all a mess in my head
Can't look behind
Can't look ahead
Was it something I said
Won't you leave me for dead
No, I can't sleep sober
I been drowning in deep water
Pushing up this boulder
I'm just making room for all this shit on my shoulders

And I've been taking liberties when I jump down the rabbit hole
And I know I hit rock bottom quite a while ago
Sometimes I feel the sun shining but I never see it go
No, I never see it go

And I can never find the growth inside me that I need to show
And I don't find peaks, just new valleys that I meet alone
I been friendly with my demons 'cause I never see them go
No, I never see them go

And I just can't keep myself from falling when I need to most
And I keep banging on the door when I see it closed
The dream changes all the time but I never see you go
No, I never see you go

And I just need some peace and quiet, but I know it's never over
The end is getting closer
Oh, I never see it go
Oh, I never see it go



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