Self Destructing

I'm day-drinking by myself
It's not to numb the pain, I just wanna feel something else
I miss my sister and my parents
Miss when all my friends would care
That I almost rode the train to the end of the line
But I was scared of the answers I didn't want to find

Is it my brain, or just the heat that's burning feelings out of me?
All I know is that I'm empty, I don't think I'd even bleed
If you cut me with a knife instead of words this time
You'll find I'm hollow, with no proof of human life

And I'm crying on a playground, almost halfway to a blackout
Is this what being young and in your 20s is about?
And when I'm on the road to nothing, every day is soul-crushing
I suppose it's all a part of my summer of self-destructing

The last guy I thought I liked found someone else to waste his time
Just like the rest, he couldn't wait for my tears to dry
They say that they love me, but they don't know how to show it
And they lock me outside like a sad and lonely poet

'Til I'm crying on a playground, almost halfway to a blackout
Is this what being young and in your 20s is about?
And when I'm on the road to nothing, every day is soul-crushing
I suppose it's all a part of my summer of self-destructing (oh-oh-oh)

I'm afraid I'm going down a path straight to ruin
Scared, they'll tell me I look lost when I know exactly what I'm doing
Scared to look in the mirror, see my body any clearer
'Cause I'll fill my head with words that nobody needs to hear

And I know myself well, she's just out of reach
And looking down to tell nobody what she sees

And I'm crying on a playground, almost halfway to a blackout
Is this what being young and in your 20s is about?
When I'm on the road to nothing, every day is soul-crushing
I suppose it's all a part of my summer of self-destructing

I'm day-drinking by myself
It's not to numb the pain, I just wanna feel something else