Something I'm Not

"I miss your smile," they say to me
It's been a while since they've seen my teeth
Where's the me who seemed so carefree?
Bubbly greetings way over the top
High heels and lip gloss, I never once thought
I would stop acting like their prop

But part of me misses the me that I built
Curve my lips upward with nerves made of steel
No one denies the warm rays of my
Sunshine could dry a whole room of soaked eyes
But mine never dry
I hide them all the time

'Cause I'm
More fucked up than I thought
My insides full of rot
The world thinks I've changed
That I am deranged
But I was just good at being something I'm not

Gotta admit I took pride in my gall
Nothing could break through this porcelain doll
Built a vault surrounded by walls
Swallowed their problems just by listenin'
Hugged broken souls until they're whole again
I felt best putting pain to rest

But was it all fake if the smiles felt real?
Thought I was satisfied helping them heal
The trouble is I would always deny
My needs for others, it's no wonder why
I fear my demise
In solitude, I cry

'Cause I'm
More fucked up than I thought
My insides full of rot
The world thinks I've changed
That I am deranged
But I was just good at being something I'm not
I was just good at being something I'm not



Credits
Writer(s): Gabby Durden, Kara Greskovic
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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