Jazz'cuse

I have never seen someone eat a tart before
This is thrilling, ah!
Your majesty! What is it?
It's the tarts (uh-huh?)
They're, they're (they're) missin'

Stole them
Who did? (What?)
The tarts, I'll find out who did this
You there (me?)
You did (no)
Then prove it, who is your witness?
You dare do this?
How could all of my servants have missed this?
I will paint the field red, someone's losing their head
You stole the tarts (I didn't)

Silence! Silence in the court! All rise
The honorable Red Queen presiding
You may be seated
Name the accused
All rise for the naming of the accused!
The accused is Alice
You may be seated (I didn't do anything)
Silence in the court
All rise for the reading of the crime

The Royal Queen, she had some tarts
And each of them was round
But now those tarts, with broken hearts
We own can not be found

Ooh, order in the court
Alice, what do you know about this business? (Nothing)
Nothing whatever? (Nothing at all)
That's just what someone who did know something would say
Aha! Proof!
Where are the tarts? (I don't know)
Answer the question!
It's the most important question
Why?

I make the rules and the rules are the rules
And breaking the rules is the worst broken rule
I am the witness, the jury, the judge
And my verdict will not budge

Look there! (Look where?)
Are you looking at me? 'Cause you looked scared
Rabbit! Grab it!
Look, the platter of tarts, and she has it!

Oh! How dare? Be clear
Is it true that you've hidden your tarts here?
This is not how it looks
Yes, it's you who's the crook
You stole the tarts!
Silence! Silence in the court

You stole the tarts yourself!
Yes, I did
Your majesty! Why?
I couldn't let her have one
Only queens can have tarts
That's the rule
But I am a queen, I made it to the eighth square
Hm! Alice, you're no queen
I have one final piece of evidence that explains everything
My assignment, give it back!

She doesn't know what she wants to be
She's a liar, and a cheat
A lying, cheating tart-stealing thief!
I didn't steal the tarts! (Six! Seven! Eight!)

I will teach you what it means to cheat
What it means to steal from me
(What's it gonna be, Alice?)
I'm a patient and a gracious queen
But good tarts don't come for free

Don't try making me a cake instead
Or a basic loaf of bread
(What's it gonna be Alice?)
I'll get even when the clock goes back
And I have your time to spend
Because that will be your end!

Uh, where'd she go?
Find the girl! (Find the girl!)
The girl! (The girl! The girl!)
Did she go? (Keep looking)
Where has she gone?
Cut off her head (we're looking!)
Just get it done!

Or else it's off with your head! (Off with your head!)
Off with your head! (Off with your head!)
Alice, sit still (off with your head!)
Alice, this is not how a young adult behaves!
Alice, you're disrupting the class! (Off with your head!)

Off with your head!