Blame

I just sit in my room and I just contemplate
'Cause I'm surprised I'm still alive to see the brighter days
I'm hoping God don't take my shine away
'Cause I've been trying to hide my darkest days
They show some love, but I think they lying right away
And it's sickening
Is this the world I'm living in? I'm ashamed
Guess I'm the one you should blame

'Cause I let it slide way too many times (too many times)
They took advantage of my kindness
But now I'm numb, they say I changed up now
And I don't really wanna stay around
It's like they kids and my heart their playing around
It's like I got nothing left, I don't feel so impressed
They done showed me what they got
And I'm like, okay, what's next?
My heart been broke so many times
She had me playing the bench and that shit had me upset

I've been living, don't wanna live no more
I've been put in second place so many times, I'm tired of keeping score
Like, damn it, man, it feels so wrong, but I've been keeping strong
I don't know why I'm losing my mind, I'm trying to be with you
But you treating me so cruel
I don't know what to do
I'm hoping I'm the one you choose

But I can't put the blame on you
I don't know why I'm still trying for you
I can't put the blame on you
I don't know why I'm still trying for you

I wrote this letter 'cause I can't see you now (I can't see you now)
And I'm sorry for the way I acted, I was acting wild
I just wanna see you smile because it's been a while
The way I'm feeling now, shit, I be in the clouds
'Cause if I come down, I might feel it (down, I might feel it)
All these feelings I'm pushing away (pushing away)
All the memories of us laying down late at night
And you telling me it was just me
Yeah, I messed it all up, it's my fault
That you went with him and not me

And I can't put the blame on you
'Cause maybe if I stepped up in your shoes
I'd see the way I fucking treated you
You told me you felt used, and maybe that's the truth
'Cause I was getting over her and I just needed you
You never know you had a good girl until you lose her
I was stuck in toxic ways, oh man, I feel ashamed, damn it, I do
And if I could go change the past, then I'd choose you (I'd choose you)

God works in mysterious ways
Sometimes you don't get what you want in life
And that's the way it goes
And you just gotta move on (you just gotta move on)

All I ever did was show you true love
I don't think I can ever trust a man because of all the lies you told me
I hate you so much, Karine
Because of all the lies you told me, you ruined me
Way too many times
Way too many times

And I can't put the blame on you
I don't know why I'm still trying for you
'Cause I can't put the blame on you
I don't know why I'm still trying for you