Bystander

Bloom for decoration
Filling in the void to feel the things I never had
Slip inside an automation, reconstruct the thread
Giving into solace and decay
Live inside the precious past of forgotten innocence
Taste of admiration from the chemicals
That help balance out the turmoil
That's been haunting me for years

Every time I shed a tear
It turns itself to poison
And drowns my face with disbelief of what I have become
Passing by with indecision slipping from my hands
I've lost everything that I've ever held close

Fueled by the stain of separation, but the beauty of the essence
And the unity of love is just one I've never known

I watch the world pass me by
The years are gone for good, I'm left to sustain the aftermath
The Scripture of the past
Blame it on myself
Bystander

Banking on anomalies of hope
But they only arrive in forms that harm the soul
A flower appears I wait for it to grow
And Bloom for devastation
Into a pale and lifeless form of who I used to be
The grudge and guilt I hold against myself has yet to reap
With empty nights as company, it's apparent that I can't sleep
Evergreen romance, my mind's aristocracy

Bring myself back
As a way of a desperate attempt to escape
Into the habit
That will mark the end of me

I'm stuck inside a hole of my belief
That I could make it out of this alive
Something's missing
Something's not right
Disheveled by the thought
That the outcome's set in stone
Let me go
I'm begging for relief
I'd rather die and never know
Then find out and go through the affliction once more

Don't pretend like you care
If you did then why'd you leave
Always seem to disappear
Away from me

I'm left as a failure
And not much more
The wreck is now abandoned
And the feeling of the aftermath is all I'll ever know
It's all I'll ever know
It's all I'll ever know
I'm losing all control

Strapped in for the fall
As the mountains near me rise
As the storm breaks out the rain
And I dive into a permanent disguise

I'm just a bystander watching the world pass me by
Absorbing every disconnect, to unite the all and sundry
Except for me