Church Hurt

These affirmations are to give hope to the hopeless
Strength to the broken-hearted and
Encouragement to the one that is trying to move forward

My heart was as cloudy as my discernment was
I needed something to believe
Someone to trust
Looking for a place to rest and feel safe
Free to walk in God's authority and find my place
I went searching outside
For what only Jah could fill within
I found you
And for a minute
This connection would make due
I found solace
Support and Community
But our commonality created
Flaws within our Unity

So I'm writing this letter to release you see
I release every pastor spiritual leader trainer and mentor that hurt me
Whether you intended to or not I was hurt by your actions
I now have the courage to speak my mind and reclaim it's fractions
I'm moving forward
Because I know i deserve it
I deserve to breathe easy
I know you're not perfect
But I do hold you accountable for how you moved
I'm not even asking for closure
Bc that's only something God can do
So I stand strong and I speak my truth
You may not agree or like what I'm saying
And that's cool
I guess that you functioned in that best way you knew
With the information you had at the time
The perception of me
That you conceived in your mind
I don't excuse your behavior
Nor do I take responsibility for you
Your misplaced aggressions
Deceitful actions
And toxic speech
Tried to send my soul into a spiral beyond
Where I thought God could reach
But I'm good now
And even if it doesn't always feel like it
I will be
But I do RELEASE the power that you have had over my body
My heart and my mind
I realign with My Divine Creator
I hold space for myself and
I give grace because I made it
I regulate my nervous system
And I step up to my own accountability
It may not be my fault that it happened
But it is my responsibility
To open my heart to heal
I will recover I will
You can call my what you want
But you won't call my bound
I forgive you
I refuse to stay connected to that story
Guilt hurt and anger won't steal God's glory

I'm greater than any emotion
And though I'm not where I may want to be
I'm NOT in the same place

God is Love
I Am Love
And that is ENOUGH
To put a smile on my face

Asé