Tired Of Lying To Myself

I gotta stop lying to myself
In the car chillin crying to myself
I know you prolly tired of me
S#!t I'm tired of myself
Ion even smoke the weed
But I'm trying it myself
Avoiding finding myself!
It's like I pay this phone bill
For folks to stress me out
Rap about it 'fa I tell 'em bout it
Cause they shut me out
Got everything I ever asked for
What you pressed about?
Like Ni$$as with money
Do not have problems
Shid help me out!
Children barely know each other
Cause they mamas crazy
Son won't talk to me
Trynna build a bond
But he a mama's baby
Barely know my daughter
Crazy part about it she my twin
Seven months later
Had another daughter
They don't know they kin
I got 5 kids
Wanna leave these streets alone
But I can't I'm tied in!
Hustle hard so my children don't
never need nobody!
They don't even know
They daddy love 'em to death Wish I can get 'em together and tell 'em myself

I'm tired of lying to myself
One day this S#!t gone be aight
God got it
He gone make everything alright
(I just be lying to myself)
Everything gone be back like it used to be
He love me
I know my Ni$$a ain't using me
I'm tired of lying to myself! (S#!t)
Family call every time
They need some
I know they gone be right there
When I need some
I just be lying to myself!
I looked out for 'em
Because he wasn't able
When he get straight tho
Ik he gone return the favor
I'm tired of lying to myself!

This rap S#!t
I just be asking for support
The same support they give
When it's time to go to court
Cause they be all in
Wonder if they gone check on my lil boys if I get all ten
Y'all got that time
I made it my business
To check on yall kids!
Keep that S#!t 1K cause
Y'all gone need this S#!t one day
Who held you down
When you went straight?
But yall just see this S#!t one way!
Why I always gotta lose?
Ni$$a don't never wanna
Let me win
Let them eat off of all jugs
Ni$$as don't never wanna
Let me in
They say a good heart
Ain't nothing but a curse
The right Ni$$a
Always looking for the worse
She say she love me
Ion even love me
That's why it don't hurt
When a Ni$$a get hurt
I'm telling you the truth
This the realest S#!t
I'm hoping my sons
Don't live this S#!t!
A walking sacrifice
Bra I'm is this S#!t
Maybe one day
You'll feel this S#!t

I'm tired of lying to myself
One day this S#!t gone be aight
God got it
He gone make everything alright
(I just be lying to myself)
Everything gone be back like it used to be
He love me!
I know my Ni$$a ain't using me
I'm tired of lying to myself! (S#!t)
Family call every time
they need some
I know they gone be right there
When I need some
I just be lying to myself!
I looked out for 'em
Because he wasn't able
When he get straight tho
Ik he gone return the favor
I'm tired of lying to myself!