Landlord Leonard

My landlord is a man called Leonard
Got a clifftop castle with a moat full of sharks
Got a dovecot, buttery and turnspit hounds
He won't replace a light bulb, it's 5 pounds

Why's it always my fault, my fault?
Why's it always my fault? (My fault! My fault!)
Why's it always my fault, my fault?
Why's it always my fault?

Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is an bourgeois Trump (Trump!)
Landlord
Don't ask him anything, he'll get the hump

He talks of the British Raj and Peking
He's got the Kohinoor in his empire wing
He used the Rosetta stone as a coaster
He accused me of sabotaging his toaster

Why's it always my fault, my fault?
Why's it always my fault? (My fault! My fault!)
Why's it always my fault, my fault?
Why's it always my fault?

Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is an bourgeois Trump (Trump!)
Landlord
Don't ask him anything, he'll get the hump

I'm going to scale his tower in the dead of night
and before he can say
"Smithers, release the hounds"
I'll have his head on a spike
Landlord
Failing that
I'm gonna seek out alternative means if accommodation
Wigwams, disused fallout shelters, travellers sites and the like
Landlord

Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is a man called Leonard (Leonard!)
Landlord
My landlord is an bourgeois Trump (Trump!)
Landlord
Don't ask for anything, he'll get the hump