deteriorate

How long has it been since I've felt like me
I couldn't even tell you, I just keep on tearing me apart, ripping at the seams
I can suture wounds together, but they're still gonna' bleed
Fuck this chemical imbalance, that won't release me
I'm bound, and I get knocked down
Intertwined with misery, and I'm found in Fragments of the person I used to be

I'm crawling inside my own skin, and I hold so much fucking pain within me
Like tags brushing against my neck,
Memories imprint on me as every thread collects
I can't hold on, and I can't let go
Lost in the war between what I feel and what I know

They say it's mind over matter, what's the deal? But yet ask me what's the matter when I start to feel, and I oh I've learned that I can't trust my mind to be fucking real

Mind over matter, they say it's all in my head
But what if the mind is where I'm already dead?
I claw at the surface, but I can't break free
Trapped in the mirror, a stranger stares back at me

Deteriorating, losing my mind, I'm falling apart, I'm dying inside
Come up for air just to suffocate, I cut myself deeper with every mistake that I make
Deteriorate, and break these chains that I've made, erase my heart, erase my pain

I can't escape, no matter how hard I try, they say I'm fucked up, but they can't tell me why
I hold on so tightly because I know I'm worth more, but battle everyday to keep fighting for this
I'm fraying at the edges, coming undone,
A battle with myself that can never be won

Deteriorate, and break these chains that I've made,
Have to fall apart or it'll never change
Erase my heart, and erase my pain
(But what if I erase myself along the way?)
Will there be anything left, or will I fade away?
I'm lost in this cycle, no end in sight,
But I'll keep fighting through the darkest night.
'Cause somewhere deep down, there's still a spark,
A glimmer of hope in this endless dark