My own worst enemy

I try to do better, feels like all I do is fall short
I can't help but plead guilty whenever my mind's the court
I keep building these walls, yeah, I got the mightiest forte
I watch it crumble all around me as it all has before

I wonder what my kids would think if they knew me more
But you see, daddy's always working, but what the hell is it for
I keep missing more and more, they say that he goes out the door
The truth is that this life costs more than accounted for

I pray to God that I can figure this out this path's a one-way road, no chance of switching
the route Feels like I'm down but not out
Knocked down more times than can count I'm always tired, not now
I'm trapped, when will I break out

All these thoughts are so loud, I can't seem to quiet them down
I try to block all them out, but my mind's lost in the sound
Feels like I'm lost in the clouds, will I get back to the ground
But as soon as you heard the 9, then I was back in the round

Tell me how to survive the war I'm fighting inside
I can't believe the lies, they say it, I'll be alright
I try to sleep at night while wiping tears from my eyes
Never have I been a friend to me, my thoughts are my worst enemy

Tell me how to survive the war I'm fighting inside
I can't believe the lies, they say it, I'll be alright
I try to sleep at night while wiping tears from my eyes
Never have I been a friend to me, my thoughts are my worst enemy

Can I get a hold of my anxiety, instead it gripping on my chest
I reach for the standards of society, I fail but do my best
And now the world's weight on my shoulders I've been lifting but I'm spent
Your gods day that, I'll die a sinner

They keep telling me repent, there's no acceptance in this world
I'm a stranger to my own, I've been building from the trenches
But my hands broke every stone
I just want you all to see me, in the end I'm all alone

I've had a space to lay my head, but no place to call my home
I've raced time to solve this puzzle, I'm the piece that doesn't fit
I just keep shooting for my dream, but why my life keep taking hits
Watch me struggle, stumble, fall down, how's a father fail his kids

I just stand back up, I'm sorry, wasn't supposed to be like this
I always was your knight, the champion on guard
But as you grew my armor fell and you discovered all my flaws
Seen your hero fall to wars, my affliction turned to scars

I'm still picking up a broken sword to fight for a lost cause
Tell me how to survive the war I'm fighting inside
I can't believe the lies, they say it, I'll be alright
I try to sleep at night, while wiping tears from my eyes

Never have I been a friend to me, my thoughts are my worst enemy
Tell me how to survive the war I'm fighting inside
I can't believe the lies, they say it, I'll be alright
I try to sleep at night, while wiping tears from my eyes

Never have I been a friend to me, my thoughts are my worst enemy