Dead in the Sheets

Woke up this morning, feelin' like a hit
Used to be a stallion, now I'm weak as shit
Put on my leather, tried to hit the stage
But my member stayed down like it's stuck in a cage

Hit the club, girl was ready to ride
But the moment came, and I lost all my pride
Looked down at myself, tried to beg and plead
But I got no rise, no fire, no need

I've done the pills, the shots, the anaconda prayer-wooo!
But tonight my love muscle just don't fuggin' care

Can't get it up! (No, no!)
It's like my meat stick just quit on me
Can't get it up! (Oh hell!)
It's a cruel, cruel joke, ain't no guarantee
The bone's gone cold, the fire's gone black
And I ain't ever gonna get it back
Can't get it up! (No, no!)
But I'm still fuggin' rockin', don't care what they see!

She was down on her knees, ready to go
But I looked down, man, nothing to show
Her eyes got wide, she laughed in my face
I threw my hands up, "What a penile disgrace!"

Tried the porn, the pump, even called a friend
But my Trouser snake was dead, this is the fuggin end
Used to be a beast, now I'm a goddamn clown
She packed her shit and I just sat down

I've tried it all, hell, I've fuggin prayed
But this got dam thing is dug its grave

I'm a shell of a man, can't even stand
This cold, limp dick is out of my hands
I hit the wall, I punched the floor
This shaft ain't workin' anymore

Can't get it up! (No, no!)
It's like my rod just quit on me
Can't get it up! (Oh hell!)
It's a cruel, cruel joke, ain't no guarantee
The pole's gone cold, the fire's gone black
And I ain't ever gonna get it back
Can't get it up! (No, no!)
But I'm still fuggin rockin', don't care what they see!

Dead in the sheets, dead on the street
This third leg's been laid to rest, can't take the heat
But I'll keep rollin', I'll keep ridin'
With this dead beef thermometer, I'll keep on hidin'

Can't get it up! (No, no!)
It's like my rod just quit on me
Can't get it up! (Oh hell!)
It's a cruel, cruel joke, ain't no guarantee
The pole's gone cold, the fire's gone black
And I ain't ever gonna get it back
Can't get it up! (No, no!)
But I'm still fuggin rockin', don't care what they see!