this side of hell

Will you forgive me?
For holding her hand

Instead of waking in the bed
We made through the years?

Making a playlist wasn't enough
You deserve someone who writes
You these songs

I know I can't wash my sins
With lovely words and
Amazing melodies

But I hope you hear them someday
So you can know how I feel

Struggling with my demons
To find my way back
Isn't supposed to be this hard

I want to have more moments
Like the last one, where you intertwined
Your fingers in my hair

You checked if I was crying
Hoping for more
Is not that I don't choose you
It's just that I'm torn

I'm tired to sing about past lives
Knowing you exist here and now
And I have the possibility
To make it right

Why should I wait?
Time's running fast
I'm just fucking scared of
Messing things up
When I should be fucking you instead
Holding your throat
Keeping you silent

Why should I wait?
Why should I hold back?
When all I want is you



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