After October 7, 2023

How are you?
I feel so stupid
Asking this every day
So I change the wording, the tone
Smile while I ask
(Even though my face barely moves)
As if I try to convey some sort of positivity
What a farce!

I'm speechless
And the few words
That I say besides the anemic
How are you?
Are all the same
Tragedy
Appalling
Shocking
Horrible
Terrible
Dire

I've become a prostitute of language

Shut up!

We should all bend our hearts more
Cover our words with silence
And listen
Listen
To the deep
Broken breaths

I try to escape
Go for a walk, run

I'm one piece

There are no parts
No extremities

Just

One

Bulk

Of concrete wall
That moves with others' dreams

Don't dare to ask "what dreams?"

Ask

How to dream
If you don't know
If you're dead or alive?

At some point, rockets make no sound

It's the buzzing of wasps inside your brain
That kills you

It's the scream you can't make
The most painful and loudest

It's by fiercely moving your toes
Grinding your teeth
Clasping your fists
Biting your tongue
That you feel alive
Just to fall into a state of numbness
A faceless mannequin staring at a wall

And you do it again
And again
And again

And

Again

Because falling into a state of numbness
Being a faceless mannequin staring at a wall
Is the only thing
You're good at
Right now

"I just want the world
To see this from a human eye"
My friend pleaded over the phone

His last words sucked
All the air left in the room
While a darnel crept up my neck

What have we become?

I dwell in ungrateful tears
My bitter wrath hardly lights a match
Hopelessness wears a plastic crown
And sits by my side

What have we become?

What have we become?

Humanity hurts me
Deeply hurts
Like hugging my loved one
Wrapped in barbed wire

Every pore bleeds
And I have no skin

What have we become?

I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
I need to feel everything
I can't feel anything
Everything
Anything
Everything
Anything
Everything
Anything

Period



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