Grab me a jar

Grab me a jar and I'll tell you a tale
About the best night of my life
It happened when I was a much younger man
And more open to rolling the dice
The night was still young and the music was louder
Than anything I'd ever heard
My head started spinning the barman was grinning
As I spoke to the prettiest girl

When I woke up next morning, I didn't know where I was
My head felt like it could explode
My heart beat faster than a bat out of hell
I thought I was having a stroke
I'd lost all my money, there was blood on my shirt
I couldn't even say my own name
It was the wildest night that I'll never forget
Though I cannot remember a thing

...I've got to find my address
The night's been crazier than I could have guessed
'Cause when I drink things get out of control
So show me the way to go home
Show me the way to go home (thank you, sir)
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it's gone right to my head
I got the baddest tattoo
And I'm also missing a tooth
'Cause when I drink things get out of control
So show me the way to go home

Now ten years have passed and I still tell the tale
About the biggest mistake of my life
It happened when I was more stupid than now
And more willing to give things a try
Now my body still aches from the beating it got
But I guess that it could've been worse
'Cause at least I survived, I don't know how or why
Not knowing is my greatest curse
So I drink to remember that night I forgot
I drink to relive that binge
But the music is never as loud as it was
And the girls are as ugly as sin